Thoughts from a 20-something stumbling through adulthood

Whole30, Day 6: OMG I’m a whale

So, I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news: Tonight I threw together a delicious and Whole30-compliant dinner without a recipe or anything!

The bad news: I am a whale.

Basically how I’m feeling today.

Remember that Whole30 timeline that basically explains how awful you’re going to feel for the first two weeks? Like a classic overachiever, I am RACING through the process and have arrived at the stage where your pants don’t fit. And two days early!

You’ve made it through the Hangover, and managed not to kill ALL the things, and you’re starting to feel like things are back on level ground again. Then, you put on your pants. They’re just pants, completely normal pants. In fact, they’re the pants you wore just three days ago. (You were too tired to wash them. It’s okay, we understand.) And three days ago, they fit. But this morning you had to take a big deep breath to get that button where it ought to be. What gives?!

-Whole30’s Robin Strathdee

The Whole30 people will tell you this happens because your gut needs to “heal, rebalance, and process this new food effectively.”

I will tell you: This kinda sucks.

I feel a little bit like I swallowed a watermelon, but if a watermelon was full of liquid and hot air. So like I swallowed a watermelon-sized hot-air balloon. And let me tell you, that look was HOT when I was sweating next to a strange lady .

The Whole30 people say this phase will pass in a week or so (A WEEK!) once my body learns how to process real food instead of the melted-cheese-and-bread combos I’ve been fueling it with thus far. We’ll see.

So that’s the bad news. The good news, however, is that I made a completely delicious Whole30 meal all by myself! (With just a TINY bit of help from the Internet, but it was mostly by myself.)

I did not hate these.

Tonight I came home from the gym and did NOT feel like starting a Whole30 adventure at 8 p.m. So I decided to just wing it. (Those who know me will say “winging it” is generally not a great idea given my cooking skills, but this actually turned out okay.)

I’m planning on making scrambled egg/chipotle sausage lettuce wraps at some point this week (kinda hard), but tonight I decided to use some of that ground beef to make some regular Mexican lettuce wraps.

I did use the Internet to help me figure out which spices to use for the taco meat, but that was really it. I also had some leftover mango salsa from cooking for my mom and brother on Friday night, so I added that on top, and DONE.

I didn’t post this on Friday when I actually made it because I’m pretty sure my mom and brother both Instagrammed/Snapped it. Basically we’re all pretty surprised that it turned out okay.

At the end of the day, making it through another 24 hours without eating cheese is still a pretty big win for me. So let’s call Day 5 a win.


Day 6 update: I woke up this morning and my pants did, indeed, fit again. But I’m still a little peeved about the Day 5 whale episode.